Drawing of an eye


I can describe almost anything except the sensation my drum beats give me when I am fully enraged. I feel pain. I am pain. Surrender is but a memory when I allow myself to flog my loved ones with ugly words, defacing everything I’ve built with love. How bitterly I pay the price the next morning.

As I feel better in my recovery from substance abuse today, I continue writing about my progress in this diary. I vow to feel every extreme of the emotional spectrum until I know how to live clean again, but that cannot occur without some damage to my spirit unless my new program of acceptance and courage is set into my daily routine. 

This note is to remind me of good times and great feelings, to remind myself to breathe slowly. The drum beats slowly and now, softly.

Text: © Orlando Barahona
Image: © Christian Blanxer/Flickr